texts.katyism.com

The icy water rises up
from the bottom of the sea
and everything is suddenly
engulfed in a sort of
unbearable clarity.

and the more I try
to forget these things
the more these memories
force themselves on me... 

It was always my duty to remember-

but there are things that
given the chance - anyone else
would choose to forget... 
and there are things that I know
that haven't been discovered yet.

I only said goodbye to him
because of the knowledge 
entrusted to me - but I never 
pledged to secrecy... and I fled
instead of revealing treachery-
I could not bear the thought

I could not uphold their lack
of reciprocity... I could not bear
to watch the fire slowly die
I could not stay- or even pause
for long enough to say goodbye.

I wish that he would never 
look at me the way he does- 
asking every question 
that will never pass between 
the two of us again...

I wish that he would look away
when it is all too obvious-
nothing remains that either 
could ever say - to redefine
what little truth 
this fire has not yet burned away - 
and nothing can be done to realign
this vaguely defined reality 
where truth and trust diverge.