texts.katyism.com

Sparrow... White winged dove... Blackbird, redwing... Pheasant
all the noises on a plastic disc
coated with layers of failure to write a song
failure to be meaningful... 
and I type in every letter, 
hoping that someday, someone will look this up.
and see My name
slipped into the space
between the spaces
where something is hidden between the lines.

Did you know, you're the fifth person today 
who's asked if he and I are together 
and I'm starting to not care anymore...
I'm starting to question my own existence...
What happened to being okay with being single.
What happened to being okay with being friends.

In this place, I forget that I have a home, 
I forget that I have my friends waiting for me...
in bed still until half past noon, 
wishing I were there, tangled in something deeper
than my 9-5 days... and my 1-6 nights...
Where do those hours in between go?
Where do I spend my time wishing I was somewhere else?

In anticipations arms, I want to fall asleep 
and dream of all the things that he could do to me 
when I least expected anything, 
least of all expectancy of me, waiting for him...
What ever happened to innocence?

I like that I can come over 
and see faces light up when I walk in the door.
and see smiles greeting smiles...
thinking of all the things 
we said we'd do but never got a chance 
to get around to getting into this...

again.
I am opened wide
for all to see...
Pisces facing Libra...
Pisces facing Capricorn...

Why should I be angry at these bird sounds...
This plastic...
This keyboard, attached to this monitor, 
attached to me, and me hooked up to my headphones 
jacked into a player, jacked into sound
that reminds me of you, 
and everything plugged into the wall 
that draws from everything the world ever offered
for the betterment of these animals called mankind.
What is kind about man?

But why should I care... 
I have my water on my desk
and my thoughts of the boss, 
hiding out in his office 
wondering if I'm wondering 
what he is wondering about me...
Am I working out here?
Am I working at all???
Paradox twisted 
until even I forget what the original question was...
And why should I care 
when I have my music 
reminding me 
to remember you 
and all the things that you will do 
when I least expect anything at all...
and of anything at all... 
least expect...
what actually is.