texts.katyism.com

Something clicked today, 
and I can't wait till tomorrow- 
this swirling mass on the horizon
will wipe us all clean 
with its rage, or turbulence, 
or maybe just its rain.

I apologize for having tried
to hard to fix things 
that were never wrong- 
and that I gave up too many times
when just another small push 
would have ended every unspoken thought.

I am happy now, I am okay- 
and little you could do
would make me change my mind.
I am set in this rigidity, 
the absolution.
I found the answer 
to a question you cannot ask, 
not yet...

I have said and done, by now, 
all those things that used to 
scare me awake... then hold me
while I cried myself back to sleep...
and I am not afraid of them anymore, 
I am not afraid of you, or myself- 
or anything that could become 
because of our undoing...

I am jealous only of who I used to be
who had that indignant set perspective- 
things were easier, she didn't really know 
what was going on, she didn't have to care...
but I am happier now, 
I am ready- and willing to negotiate
all of the things that form our opinions...
and let go what I can't hold on to-
and take what was mine from the start...