texts.katyism.com

I curse this fickle heart 
each day upon waking, 
when I find that all
I took to sleep with me has faded
and I am left with little more
than that which I have always known.

The sky falls, 
and as the rain melts into concrete-
this building is stained
the color of blood...
and I can feel the heartbeat of this city
fail... 
Metal bends, 
brick crumbles...
the pavement opens up and swallows me.

I have gotten ahead of myself this time, 
and whether it is fate the brought me here
or love, so fleeting, so precarious-
I will not watch myself, 
lost inside this state of dream
flail, and fall into this darkness...
I will not make the same mistake
that got me where I am today,

trapped here -
this painful state of limbo 
between the match, and the fire...

I am too combustible, I fear...
a fury such as this 
could set me spinning, 
set me running...
set me off, and though I may
struggle to control this 
beast inside...

I was never able to be tamed... 
and I am an emotion not yet named...

this is my life, this is my dream - 
this is my refrain from all
you believe that I am...
my rage will not be calmed - 
my mind will not be made...
and this decision may haunt me forever.

I cannot say that I will give up love... 
though I have already given up on him.