texts.katyism.com

I wash off the last impressions of youth
in this silent room, and sigh 
while the buzz of conversation 
slips through the cracks

I think of you 
and your words, and your stares
and how much you've moved me 
and how my skin crawls
as something dangerous
burns me, beneath this exterior.

She asks me how my love life is, 
these days- I don't have much...
and I miss her... but she became 
part of my aching past, 
when in a fleeting moment,
I dreamed you in my future.
and I miss her...
and you fell through.

He wants back in, and this tangle
drifts farther away from acceptance
I can't believe this is happening...
Wrong boy, bad timing... So close
to what faded memories deny-
this is not honor, this is chaos.

Even my words dissolve in this 
bitter solution...
I won't take this medicine
I don't need to be sedated...

The phone rings again, and with 
every shattered three seconds of silence
I wait for the distinct reminder
that this could be you-
that I could fix this mess
just by pressing receiver to ear.

But I won't, and this voice doesn't 
match yours- even through the static, 
even through the distance...
and every city block seems longer 
than before-
and don't ask me to trust you yet-

maybe next time...